Last Bench Association

This is an old memory, dates back to 2010 I guess, we were at tuitions and some people from some computer class came to advertise there classes there...

They had just begun to speak - 

Trainer - "So we will start the demo, anyone with a query can raise his hand like a gentleman, and he will be answered."

after 20 seconds I raised my hand, I was sitting somewhere in between...

Trainer(Taking me as a disturbance) - "We have just started, just wait for some time."

after 20 seconds of that I raised my hand again... That guy ignored me in royal manner.

I raised my hand again after 10-15 seconds.

Trainer - "We have just started sir, can you please wait for sometime all your queries will be answered."

Me - "But I just wanted to say that your voice is inaudible here, can you speak louder?"

Everyone laughed... he scrolled to first slide.

Being Particular

I have a reputation for being particular & specific. Which I guess is a good thing, however at time it's annoying. I have friends who are just opposite of this.

Ankit : "Bhai mujhe office k liye table chahiye."

Me : "Kya size chahiye tujhe, and kis type ki chahiye?"

Ankit : "Tu to de de jaisi bhi ho, bas badhiya ho."

Me : "Bhai, with drawer without drawer, top size 5 by 3 ya 4 by 2, badhiya ka matlab to subjective hai..kuch to batayega na."

Frnd : "Arre tu kisko bol raha hai... ye pagal hai faltu baaten karta rehta hai... Ye kaisa wo kaisa, iska dimag he kharab hai, seedha de de na, technical kyu ho raha hai."

Me : "Bro preferences hoti hai, mai banwa dunga fir kya matlab."

Friend : "Aree tu jaane de, doosro lo correct karna n detail me jana yahi tera kaam hai....chor tujh se nahi hoga, haan to mai kya bol raha tha, to Thailand me mujhe club me jo boxer hota hai na us ne nikal diya."

Me : "Bouncer."

Friend : "Kya?"

Me : "Mai bol raha tha boxer khathatnaak hote hai club me."

Hand Carved Wanderlust

I was sitting at a cafe enjoying my own company while waiting for a friend, I saw a guy from my neighbourhood.

Bhaiya : "Aur bhai trekker, kaha ghoom k aaye ho is bar."

Me : "Arre kaha fursat milti hai aab."

Bhaiya : "Handicraft ka kaam kaisa chal raha hai?"

Me : "Sahi chal raha hai filhaal."

Bhaiya : "Soch raha tha call karu tujhe, ek bohot deep carving hai ander... soch raha hu k kar he du aab."

Me : "Vintage hai to acche paise milenge, baki depend karta hai... ek do jano ko janta hu."

Bhaiya (almost confused but show must go on) : "Haan wo to sahi hai... to mujhe carving hai jab se mai badrinath gaya tha."

Me : "Arre bhaiya us carving ko wanderlust kehte hai."

Bhaiya : "Haan exactly."

Siri I Love You

We were in between a night out, food was ordered from a new app called 'eaton'. Somehow topic of google vrs Apple surfaced. Now this topic is never ending and Apple user have one mother of all logic ready with them "apple to apple hai bhai".... We thought lets settle this argument in a more grownup way, we tested siri n google assistant.

Shashank : "Ok dominos."

Google Assistant : "calling dominos."

Shashank : "bitch my phone doesn't have nunber of dominos jodhpur.... it searched on net n dialed."

Me : "hey siri... call dominos jodhpur."

Siri : "sorry you dont have any contact by that name.."

Me : "hey siri is shashank a chu****."

Siri(dnt knw wht it understood, ph was snatched after it.) : "yes shishir."

We all burst into laughter..... it was proved that siri is awesum.

Am Not A Racist, I Love Niggas.

So I was in Pune with two of my friends, we met Nitin who went to Pune for some research work. We hopped club to club and had great time; few days later we were sitting and chatting -

Nittin : "Us din maza aaya yaar... aap ka wo friend bohot racist tha..."

Me : "Konsa wala..???"

Nitin : "Dekho do dost the aap k... Ek to kala tha ek gora tha... wo Gora wala racist tha."

Me : "Kala aur gora aadmi... Racist to tu hua na bhai..." 

Its My Life

This is what that is going on my life, my happy/ sad memories... At times Its what my mind muses and purges out as poetry when its not thinking anything what it is forced to think!!!


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